


Your Only Friend

by willow_larkspur



Series: Post-War Fics [40]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Autistic Harry Potter, Awkward Conversations, Because of Canon & Logic, Break Up, Desi Harry Potter, F/M, Gen, Harry/Ginny is Not Endgame, Hawaiian Pansy Parkinson, Not Albus Dumbledore Friendly, Not Epilogue Compliant, Not Ginny Weasley Friendly, Not Minerva McGonagall Friendly, Not Molly Weasley friendly, Pansy Parkinson was Right, Post-War, Pro Pansy Parkinson, Vaguely Not Hermione or Ron Friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:15:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29068656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/willow_larkspur/pseuds/willow_larkspur
Summary: After an unexpected conversation with Pansy in the library reveals the context of something, Harry ends his seemingly happy (but supposedly fake) post-war relationship with Ginny. Ginny does not take it well.
Relationships: Harry Potter & The Wizarding World, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley
Series: Post-War Fics [40]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1323221
Kudos: 109
Collections: MC4A Year 3





	Your Only Friend

**Author's Note:**

> Legal Disclaimer: I own my stuff, but not the original source material. That belongs to whoever. Also, the opinions and interpretations I use here may not reflect the same in said whoever that owns the source material. Look, I’m just a poor college librarian. Suing me isn’t going to get you anything but tears.  
> Warning: This work may be offensive to some readers. Additionally, this fic mentions events occurring during the final battle. Also referenced is canon non-consensual potion use as a means of courtship. Feel free to back out if need be.  
> Author’s Note: So, I’m full of unpopular opinions, but I will never not be mad about some of the stuff that happened in canon. Also, as a general reminder, it is not bashing to reference a character’s canon actions or temperament. If you disagree, there’s always the back button.

(^^)  
 **Your Only Friend**  
(^^)

It was supposed to be temporary.

That was what Ginny had promised him when she had insisted that they had to get back together. It was only going to be until things settled down from all of the upheaval caused by the war’s dramatic end. People just wanted to know that there was happy things happening. As always, the entire wizarding world wanted to know what their savior was doing, hounding him at all times. All of their friends thought that a stable relationship would make up for Harry going back to Hogwarts instead of joining the Auror Academy right away.

And everyone was quick to point out how well Harry and Ginny fit together. Harry looked so much like his father, only with his mother’s eyes. Ginny looked so much like Harry’s mother. Why wouldn’t they be just as much in love as his parents had been? Not to mention how Ginny had loved him since she had been a little girl, even before she had met him.

Everyone could see how happy they were together. Ginny was constantly pushing into Harry’s personal space, even going so far as to take books out of his hands so that she could cuddle up on his lap. He quickly developed the habit of studying in the library, knowing that Madam Pince wouldn’t put up with such activities in her domain. It annoyed Ginny, which had consequences, but Hermione wouldn’t let Ginny or Ron tease him too much about studying, not even after she and Ron started dating and she was spending less time studying herself.

That left him alone in the library more often than not. Because of the interest in his personal life, Harry tended to claim one of the tables that were deeper in the stacks near books that were rarely required by the classes currently offered by the school. It was a bit drafty, true, and the lighting made it hard for Harry to read sometimes, but the majority of the students didn’t gawk at him.

It was also how he stumbled across Pansy Parkinson. The Slytherin girl was probably trying to do the same thing that he was, since the majority of the school was treating her as  _ persona non grata  _ this year. From eavesdropping on conversations, Harry knew it was because of her willingness to hand him over to the Death Eaters when Voldemort had offered to stop the fighting if they did so. Even at the time, Harry hadn’t been upset about that, so he didn’t understand why other people were, but then again, people rarely made sense to him.

She only glanced up at him when he settled at the same table as her, just farther down so that they would both still have room to spread out. For a few minutes, Harry could feel her looking at him frequently. He steadfastly focused on writing about the proper way to care for fire lotus and how to harvest it so that it was still viable for use in potions. Eventually, Pansy seemed to accept that he wasn’t going to chase her off or something else equally petty.

“I’m not sorry,” she whispered as they were preparing to leave for dinner. Harry looked at her face, closer to her eyes than he was typically comfortable with because of the chances of accidentally making eye contact. Under his gaze, she raised her chin defiantly even as she looked like she was bracing for a blow. “I won’t say it when I don’t mean it.”

“Good,” Harry confirmed cautiously. He felt like he was picking his way through the hedge maze of the Third Task again, never knowing when he would spring a trap or upset a hidden creature. He still had to let her know something that he was willing to bet that most people wouldn’t have yet. “You shouldn’t be sorry, you know. It was the better idea.” Seeing her incredulous expression, Harry continued. “Really. It was. Trading one life for hundreds is just good math.”

“Try telling that to your fan club,” she snapped. It was more spark than he had seen from her all year, not that he had been paying close attention. He had been too busy trying to keep up with Ginny’s moods. Harry shifted his grip on his bag just to feel the texture of the strap against the palms of his hands. He was suddenly and uncomfortably aware that he had been away from his girlfriend for most of the afternoon and that Ginny was sure to be upset when he saw her shortly in the Great Hall.

“It was Dumbledore’s plan, too,” Harry said. It was the first time he had admitted that truth out loud. He hadn’t wanted to upset his friends by letting them know just how deep the old headmaster’s manipulations ran. Even more, he hadn’t wanted to know for certain if they agreed with Dumbledore’s plan. Parkinson’s almond eyes were wide open in shock a bit at Harry’s words, but she didn’t seem to rushing to Dumbledore’s defense. “It had been his plan for a long time, as far as I can tell.”

“For real?” she asked. Her bottom lip trembled for a moment before she bit it to stop the motion. She nibbled it a few moments before she could get any words together. “I know that it was rumored that he manipulated things behind the scenes—but he was so powerful. Of course he would have enemies that would lie to damage his reputation if they could.”

“I don’t think they were lying,” Harry confessed. It felt freeing to say it for the first time. “I learned a lot about how he did things. While the source isn’t very trustworthy in a general sense, I don’t think he meant for me to find out as much as I did. I don’t think I was ever meant to know even the extent of the manipulations that I know now. I think I was meant to die in the final battle.”

“Why, why are you telling me this?”

Harry swallowed against the feeling clogging his throat. How was he supposed to answer that? He didn’t even really understand the answer himself. How could he even hope to explain it to someone who was barely more than a stranger? He shifted his grip again, wanting nothing more than for the ground to open up and eat him.

“You deserve to know that you didn’t do anything wrong,” he answered finally. He whispered the words like they would attack if he said them too loudly. “You don’t deserve the way everyone is treating you right now. I can’t do anything about that part of things, because I don’t think they would listen to me, but I can tell you that you were right to suggest what you did. Even if you weren’t, locking up the entirety of Slytherin during an attack on the castle was more than punishment for anything that any of you had ever done.”

“Some of us died,” Pansy whispered in return. She looked like she was about to cry, and Harry didn’t know how to handle a girl crying any better now than he had back in fifth year when Cho was doing it. “Part of the common room collapsed, but the injured from that would have been fine if someone had thought to come back for us immediately after the battle was over. Millicent did what she could, but she was training to treat animals, not people, and she had next to no supplies. It took three days for someone to come, and by then, the worst off had—they had—“

Pansy broke down crying. Harry reacted before he could think about what might be appropriate or how Ginny might feel about it if she caught him. He rushed around the table and pulled the girl into a hug. There had been so many times in his life that he had wished that someone would hold him like he was now holding Pansy, but he knew that he would never really get it.

That was fine, more than acceptable. He knew that he wasn’t as deserving as other people. The Dursleys had always made sure that he knew just how much of a freak that he was, and while his friends and their family hadn’t been as explicit about it, Harry understood that they agreed, if in a different way. But no matter how she wasn’t as pale and perfectly English as most of the other students, Pansy wasn’t as dark and different as Harry himself was. And in all of the pictures that the Dursleys had taken on their holiday to Hawaii, Uncle Vernon had been all over the women who looked a lot Pansy only with less skin covered. So it must be right to give them hugs, especially when they looked like they were falling apart already.

Pansy gave a dignified little sniff even as she melted into the embrace. Harry may have been the one with his arms around her, but she was still head and shoulders taller than him. His head tucked under her chin, with his nose pressing into the collar of her charcoal robes. He breathed in her perfume which was fruity while being just as floral as her name suggested but still different than the biting yarrow scent that Ginny wore or Hermione’s cloying rose. The feeling of ants under his skin that experienced every time he was this close to Ginny was blessedly absent.

It was so _ nice _ . He could have stayed right there forever. But eventually, Pansy pulled herself back together and stepped away from him. She pulled out a handkerchief to dab at her cheeks and the skin around her eyes. Then, in the same mysterious way that Lavender and Parvati always did, Pansy made the cloth disappear back into her sleeve. Even watching the motion, Harry couldn’t say for certain how she managed it. She immediately pulled out a small compact and flipped it open to check her reflection. She glanced at him over its rim briefly before snapping it shut and making it disappear as well.

“Never seen a girl check her makeup before, Potter?” she asked. Despite the sharpness of the words, her tone was more curious than mean, with just a touch of defensiveness. He shook his head. Then he paused before nodding.

“I’ve watched from a distance,” he explained at her confusion. He gave a hesitant grin. “Makeup isn’t really Hermione’s thing—not Ginny’s either, really. But fashion of all sorts is Parvati and Lavender’s passion. I’ve seen them both do that exact maneuver with their mirrors. Is it strange that of all the things I’ve seen coming here,  _ that’s _ what I think is the most magical thing?”

“Well, girls are phenomenal in their own right,” Pansy allowed with smug smile of her own. “Nothing strange about admitting that.” Her smile faded as her expression shifted into a mask worthy of showing the disapproving student body. “We should get to dinner before someone thinks I’m trying to poach you from your Weasley bride.”

“She’s not my bride,” Harry said instantly. Pansy raised one well-sculpted eyebrow at him. He felt his face flushing in response. “She is helping me out is all, by acting like we’re dating. It keeps the press from complaining about I’m not becoming an Auror. It’s only temporary.”

“Are you completely certain that Weasley knows that? Because she’s been talking about how you’re getting married as soon as you’re both out of Hogwarts.” Her dark brown eyes softened at whatever she saw on his face. “You need to be careful, Potter, or you’re going to find yourself poached for real. Marrying you would be a real feather in any family’s cap, but for that branch of the Weasleys, it would be a whole bird.”

“Nothing’s wrong with the Weasleys,” Harry defended. She blinked at him rapidly. Then her mouth dropped open just a bit.

“You don’t know?” She gave herself a little shake. “Of course you wouldn’t know. Who would have told you? It’s not like it’s something that they would advertise.” She laid her fingers on his arm before continuing in a gentle tone. “Molly Prewett poached Arthur Weasley. She used a love potion to encourage him to compromise her virtue. Then it was either marry her or pay a penalty equal to twice what her bride price had been.”

“He married her,” Harry whispered through lips he suddenly couldn’t feel. He felt suddenly numb all over. He vaguely remembered how Mrs. Weasley had told Hermione and Ginny a story about giving Mr. Weasley  _ a nudge _ with a love potion. Both girls had giggled like it was a joke. No one had mentioned that the nudge had also been the turning of a key within a lock. “They have kids. They have to love each other.”

Pansy nodded solemnly. Her gaze never left his face as ice sliced through his insides. Ginny had been getting increasingly pushy about wanting to have sex or even just returning to the same level of snogging that they had been at before they had broken up at Dumbledore’s funeral. He had been avoiding it because of how uncomfortable he was with even the idea of it let along actually doing it. Now he couldn’t help but wonder if she might be trying to do the same thing to him that her mother had done to her father.

He wasn’t conscious of having turned away from Pansy. He didn’t remember the walk from the library to the Great Hall. The moment he was through the door, his focus narrowed to Gryffindor table where Ginny was sitting and laughing with Ron and Hermione. Neville was picking nervously at his food next to them, stirring his baked beans more than moving his fork from bowl to mouth. Ginny looked up just as Harry reached the table. She shoved away her serving of blackberry cobbler, and without even asking, she poured him a goblet of pumpkin juice.

“There’s the love of my life,” Ginny declared as she held out the juice for him to take. He looked at it and couldn’t stop thinking about how Ginny had laughed at Mrs. Weasley’s story. Ginny wiggled the glass a little as if trying to tempt him. “You must be thirsty after being trapped in the dusty library all afternoon.”

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” he said before he had fully thought about what he was going to say. Ginny’s face froze at his words before she begin to flush with temper. There was a bubble of tense silence that was spreading out from their group now. “It was only supposed to be short term, and I think it’s gone on long enough now. I don’t want to continue dating.”

“Please don’t do this,” Ginny said and her voice shook just a bit. Most people would probably think she was about to cry. However, Harry could tell that she was just angry. “I beg of you. Don’t do this.”

“I should have never agreed to pretend that we were back together,” Harry declared, loud enough that his voice carried throughout the crowd. He ignored the few hissing whispers that started up afterwards. “I wasn’t comfortable with it, and now I just don’t want to keep acting like I’m something that I’m never going to be. I’m not going to be my dad, and while I don’t know exactly what I’m going to be yet, that’s something that I need to figure out on my own.”

“So it’s not me,” she spat with a face that matched her hair. “It’s you. Is that it?”

“Yes, yes, exactly,” Harry agreed, hoping that it would cool her temper just a bit but already knowing that it wouldn’t. 

Faster than he had expected, she pulled out her wand and started shooting off a familiar series of spells at him. He immediately dropped into a fighting stance and began countering the jinxes that he had taught her last year during the DA. She was a fast dueler, both with her spells and her footwork, but Harry had always been faster. He had needed to be if he was going to survive, not just Death Eaters but also his cousin’s gang and his relatives in general.

With a series of spiraling wand movements, he had her bound in grape vines. She struggled against the plants binding her, but the more she tried to lash out, the riper and more plentiful the fruit grew. Neville gave a low whistle as he examined the leaves closest to him. With an impressed look, he plucked off one of the grapes and popped it into his mouth. Instantly, his expression twisted and he spat it back out.

“Ugh,” he complained already reaching for his own goblet, which held tea by the look of the brown liquid inside it. “Sour grapes.”

Harry bit back a giggle at the apt description. Neville took a careful swallow his tea before making the mistake of looking at Harry. The eye contact set them both off into a mad fit of laughter that left them both gasping for breath. Every time the fit was dying down, Ginny would screech without her vines, and they would look at each other and then they would just descend back into their hysterical giggles. It was totally inappropriate and ill-advised, but neither of them seemed to be able to stop. Any moment now, Ron was going to lose his own temper in the face of their laughing at least nominally at his sister, or Hermione would move from her annoyed huffing to actually taking some kind of action to force the issue. None of that seemed to matter, because Harry and Neville couldn’t even look in each other’s direction without giving into the giggles.

Just when Harry thought it might have finally settled completely, Neville mouthed the words  _ sour grapes _ at him again. Harry collapsed against the wall, sliding down it as he struggled to catch his breath. This was not the way that he had pictured his breakup going, but it certainly wasn’t the worst case either.

Harry wasn’t going to sour over it at least.

**Author's Note:**

> Submitting Info:  
> Stacked with: Hogwarts (Term 14); MC4A  
> Individual Challenges: Inevitable; Shadow HP Bribery (Y); Cry Power; Gryffindor MC (x3); Slytherin MC; Neurodivergent; Rian-Russo Inversion (x3); Ethnic & Present (x2); Booger Breath; Shipwreck; Hold the Mayo (x2); Lunar Era; Old Shoes (Y); Short Jog; Bucket Listing (Y); Two Cakes (Y); Eating Cake (Y); Green Ribbon  
> House: Slytherin  
> Assignment No.: Term 14 – Assignment 02  
> Subject (Task No.): Wandlore (Task#3: Write about a difficult choice.)  
> Other Hogwarts Challenges: Fantastic Beasts [149](Ginny Weasley); 365 Prompts [335](the library); Scavenger Hunt [03](Over 3K Words); Days of the Year [Feb 17th](Confessing something that takes a weight off one's shoulders); Black History Month [03](A refusal to do something); National Weddings Month [01](Bride); Crochet Week [08](Texture); Penguin Awareness [05](hesitant); Colours [04](Charcoal); Flowers [15]("I beg of you."); Crystals & Gemstones [11](Passion); Tarot Reading [07](Someone who relies on the opinions & approval of others); Slytherin Characters [40](Pansy Parkinson); But Can You Spell It? [P](Post War Era); Trope Zone [Lovers to Enemies](Temporary)  
> Other MC4A Challenges: FaB [4E](Pumpkin); Set [1E](Library); WiB [4B](Reading a Book); Vocab [3D](Nibble); Ship (Heroes)[Fa Big](Pumpkin/Squash); Fire [Med](Library); Chim [Karma]("Your Arms Feel Like Home" by 3 Doors Down); Hangman [04](Neurodivergent); Hunt [Su WD](Pacific Islander)/[Fa WD](Native/Indigenous)/[Wi WD](Aromantic)/[Fa Set](Dining Room)/[Fa Items](Fork)/[Wi Item](Gift/Present)/[Su Con](Baked Beans)/[Fa Con](Vegetables)/[Wi Con](Fruit); Garden [So Many Fandoms](Harry Potter)/[Rose Types](Your Only Friend)/[Plant Food](Savory)/[Word Song](Phenomenal)/[Garden Tools](Wine Glass/Goblet)/[Plant Types](Siblings)/[Bed Types](Library)/[Chore List](Arguing/Debating); Prompt Harvest [Tropes](Lovers to Enemies)/[Actions & Behavior](Laughing)/[Settings](Dining Room)/[Settings](Library)/[Items](Fork);  
> Representation(s): Hawaiian Pansy Parkinson; Desi & Autistic Harry Potter; Breaking Up  
> Primary & Secondary Bonus Challenges: Civil Disobedience; Lettuce Hold Hands; Over the Hills; Second Verse (Ladylike; Not a Lamp; Persistence Still; Found Family; Nontraditional; Sneeze Weasel; Spinning Plates; Unwanted Advice; Deadliest Catch; For the Vine; Lovely Coconuts; Lyre Liar; Muck & Slime; Casper’s House; Corvid Brain; Hot Apple; Bad Beans; Under the Bridge); Chorus (Pear-Shaped; Wabi Sabi; Bee Haven; Fizzy Lemonade; Machismo; Peddling Pots; Mouths of Babes; Tomorrow’s Shade; A Long Dog; Larger than Life; Unicorn; Abandoned Ship; Surprise!; Turtle-Duck; Forked Path; Sitting Hummingbird; Jet Fuel; Hot Stuff); Demo 1 (Horrible Love); Demo 2 (Misshapen Pods)  
> Tertiary & Generic Bonus Challenges: T3(Toad); SN(Rail; Negate); FR(n/a); O3(Orator; Oust); Measure(Ennui; Rampant; Athenaeum); DP(Yearn); Share(Ameliorate; Augur)  
> Word Count: 3049 words


End file.
